Finding Maya
by Chereche
Summary: Riley succeeded. Maya was fixed, and was back to her true self. Right...?


"Maya," Riley sang as her friend leant casually against the locker beside her. "Where's your stuff? Aren't you ready to go?"

"I'm not," she responded.

"Why not?" Riley asked, confused. Maya just stared at her for a moment. Riley's brows furrowed. "Maya," she began, her tone lightly scolding, "we only had one class apart today. What could you possibly have done to get detention?"

Maya straightened and shrugged. "I don't have detention Riley," she responded, "but I'm not going to Topanga's today."

"Why?" Riley asked, confused. "Maya, we always do our homework there together. Always."

"Yeah, well things change," Maya retorted, spinning around. "Later Riles," she added.

"Maya!" Riley protested, closing her locker quickly to hurry after her. "Are we doing the homework rebellion thing again? That was sort of fun."

"A rebellion needs multiple people honey," Maya informed her, "and we're not rebelling. Beside, we already figured out that you're the good one between the two of us. So you're going to go to Topanga's with the guys and I am going...anywhere else."

"Oh Maya, you need to do your homework," Riley told her, amusement lacing her tone. She was enjoying this, a return to normalcy where she coached Maya out of her need for delinquency. This was the Maya she had missed.

"Why?" she asked, tone dismissive. "We already know I'm destined to be a screw-up who is going to sponge off you forever. Let's just speed up the process."

"Maya you can do whatever you want. You know that," Riley said, her tone serious now because she could sense that Maya truly meant what she was saying.

"Well what I want to do," Maya answered stopping as they reached the school's doors, "is to get away from all this, _uck_ , education."

"I can't do your homework for you," Riley pointed out. "We don't have the same classes anymore."

"Eh, you'll find a way," she responded. "Or else, don't do it. I don't care."

"Maya..." This wasn't how it was supposed to go. Maya should already be stomping back to her locker, complaining about her influence all the way. She wasn't supposed to be digging in her heels like this.

"What Riley?" Maya said, meeting her gaze levelly. "This is what you wanted wasn't it? The old me back? Well here I am. And there they are," she added, as the rest of their friends approached them, "so here I go. Bye Riley," she finished, and faster than Riley could react, she exited the school, leaving them looking after her.

"Riley, where's Maya's going?" Farkle asked.

"She's not coming with us."

"Why?" Lucas inquired looking at the slowly closing doors.

Riley looked at him before shrugging. "She's just being Maya," she said, ignoring her own hesitation from before, "and right now she's being rebellious."

Lucas' eyebrows lifted. "Rebellious?" he repeated.

"Yeah. Hang on a bit guys," Riley bid, turning away. "I need to make a swing by her locker before we go."

* * *

Riley had expected that things would level off with Maya after a few days, but no, things were starting to get out of hand, and everyone was noticing it. Lucas had, more than once, asked her exactly what their little trip upstate had entailed, but Riley kept dismissing it. Maya was fixed, everything was normal, he didn't need to worry about the in-betweens that had gotten them to this point. Except...Maya had stopped walking her to school entirely now, nor did she come home with her. Indeed Maya had arrived at school a few minutes late that morning, and had been painfully dismissive of the entire thing. Riley knew for a fact that if she had had any other teacher save her dad for that first period she would have gotten detention. As if, her dad had just given her a concerned look before transferring it to her before continuing the lesson.

Riley was still stubborn about the matter though, even after her parents had told her that she needed to talk to Maya before things grew too serious. She had been a bit shocked when her mom revealed that Maya was being mouthy at home. That was alarming. Maya, no matter the circumstance had never, ever been rude to her mother before, and now seemed to be insistently picking fights with her. Maybe things had gone a bit too far, Riley acknowledged as she entered the bathroom, only to stop short, her mouth dropping open.

The bathroom was thankfully empty, so Riley had no one to explain her reaction to.

"Oh no, Peaches," she breathed out, "what have you done?"

The bathroom's walls were no longer the school colours. Instead, there was a mural in its place, one that Riley knew Maya was responsible for without a shadow of a doubt - she recognised her style. Was this why she had cut classes yesterday afternoon? Now that she thought about it, Riley recalled Sarah complaining about this bathroom being inexplicably locked.

Riley hurried out of the bathroom, forgetting her original intentions. She needed to do something, they needed to do something before Maya got into trouble for this. This wasn't regular old trouble. Upon entering high school they had been given a rule book an inch thick, and while Maya had immediately tossed hers, Riley had read it cover to cover. This was vandalism, and vandalism warranted suspension. She could not let that happen.

Thankfully, she got to the main hallway just as Farkle and Smackle emerged from the laboratory area.

"Guys, trouble."

"What did Maya do?" Farkle asked, taking in her frantic expression.

She leant closer to them and said in a hushed whisper. "She painted all over the girl's bathroom. Guys we got to fix this."

"What can we do?" he said rhetorically, "unless you have a few buckets of paint lying around, we can't do anything about this Riley."

"Farkle..."

"The likelihood that someone will identify her as the culprit is minuscule," Smackle stated. "It is statistically impossible for Maya to be the only student here who is artistically inclined. Unless the administration is prepared to accuse all students with talent of perpetrating this crime, or we or Maya reveal her identity then Maya will be fine."

"Are you sure, Smackle?" Riley asked, voice hopeful.

"I am," she confirmed.

"Thank goodness," she breathed out.

"She may be okay," Farkle said then, "but Riley why did she do that? Why is she doing this? Not doing homework is one thing. But this? This is big, even for her."

"I know," Riley admitted. "I may have fixed her a little too good."

"Fixed her?" Farkle repeated. "Riley, what are you talking about?"

"Nothing Farkle," she deflected. "Let's just go to lunch now. Everything's going to be okay."

* * *

It took a few more days of Maya distancing herself from them, and her actions continuing to deteriorate before Riley finally caved.

"Guys," she said, "you're right. Something is wrong with Maya, and I don't know what to do to fix it.

"Did something happen Riley?" Lucas asked, his tone grim. Riley had noticed that, although Maya was rarely around them anymore, Lucas seemed to be keeping a close eye on her, only the day before he had grabbed at her when she made to stalk out of history class. There had been a bit of a staring match between them, but after a few seconds Maya had, without a word, turned and dropped back into her seat. She had spent the remainder of the class pointedly doodling, but, she had stayed.

Riley twirled her pen nervously before she continued speaking, "Her mom called me to ask if I knew what was wrong with Maya. Maya yelled at her this morning...insulted her."

"What?" Lucas said, his eyebrows lifted. "She insulted her mother."

"Yeah," Riley confirmed. "Dad told her about Maya...slacking off and she talked to her about it. And well...Maya exploded."

"What is going on with her?" Lucas groused, irritation plain on his face. "This is like seventh grade on steroids."

Riley shrugged, looking away.

"And this is where Riley spills the beans," Zay said in a commentator's tone.

"Yeah Riley," Farkle added, "you keep saying Maya's back. What's going on?"

Riley rocked back, drumming her fingers against her thighs. "Maya hasn't been herself lately, and we fixed that. Or I thought we did. She was supposed to go back to normal...but this...I think she's gone too far."

"What? How did she change?" Lucas inquired. "You guys never explained what you meant by that."

"Haven't you guys noticed that she's different? She wasn't sassy anymore. She was studying, dressing different, acting different."

"And that's a bad thing?" Lucas asked with a hint of incredulity. "That's called maturity Riley."

"That wasn't the real Maya," Riley rebuffed. "And we tried to get her back."

"And obviously got more than you could handle," Zay threw in.

Riley bit her lips, uncertain of how to respond.

"So now," Lucas said, "we have a Maya who thinks she needs to act out to prove what? That she's the same?"

"Yeah."

"And she's ignoring us why?" Lucas inquired.

"She isn't," Riley protested.

"Oh. So her not hanging out with us after class is normal? Riley, you guys didn't come to school together this morning right? And she certainly isn't here now."

"She has no reason to ignore us," she protested.

"Maybe that's the easier thing to do," Farkle said, "If I were her, and I thought that you guys didn't like me for how I was, I wouldn't want to be around us either. Not until I could figure out how to get back to what you wanted for me."

"She doesn't need to change," Lucas added. "There was nothing wrong with whom she's become."

"She needed to," Riley insisted.

"Hey guys," Zay said, his gaze outside. "Maya just walked past here."

"What?" they all said in unison, following his gaze, where they saw the tail end of Maya's blonde hair.

It took only a few seconds for them to scramble up and out of the shop. The street was crowded though and it took them nearly a minute to catch up to where Maya was, in rugged clothes she hadn't been wearing during the school day. She was among a group of girls Lucas and Zay had never seen before and whom Farkle and Riley barely recalled. But from what they could remember...they knew that they were bad news.

"Riley," Farkle said worriedly, glancing at her.

"We've got to get her," Riley said, her features tense.

Lucas didn't bother to ask what they meant. The worry on their faces, coupled with how the girls Maya was with were dressed gave him more than enough information. He hurried after them, not checking to see if the rest of their group was following. Maya had the advantage on them, but Lucas was able to catch up with them just as they diverted from one of the main, bustling streets, to a quieter one.

"Maya!" he called out.

She stopped, and turned a look of surprise on her face as she saw him there. The other girls paused as well, looking at him curiously.

"Who's that Hart?" one asked.

"Yeah, not too bad looking."

Maya's expression flickered a bit before she said dismissively, "He's just somebody from school. Now don't we have somewhere to be?" she added roughly, making to turn away.

"Maya, what is going on?" he demanded, as the others finally caught up with him.

"Nothing's going on cowboy," she answered, her eyes briefly shifting to the rest of them. "I'm going exploring with my friends here."

"Those aren't your friends. We are your friends," Lucas said carefully.

"I have other friends," she said loftily. "Don't get ahead of yourself."

"Aren't they the friends who got you in trouble once?" Farkle asked as he frowned at them. "You got suspended."

"When was this?" Lucas asked.

"Near the end of elementary school," Riley told him. "Maya, your mom made you stay away from them after that."

"She did," Maya confirmed, "and I started spending all my time with you. And we've seen how terrible a decision that was, haven't we Riles," she finished, shooting her a speaking look. "So, why don't you guys get back to doing homework, while I head out with them and do Maya things," she finished with a hint of a smirk.

"Maya-" Riley began, and for the first time since all of this had begun, Lucas realised that Riley was actually nervous. Tough, he had had been worried about this from the start.

"You aren't going with them Maya," he told her firmly, taking a step closer to where she was. "I don't like this. Just come back with us and we'll figure this all out okay?"

Maya met his gaze for a moment, and briefly he saw a shift in her emotion, one that he hoped meant that she was seeing reason. But then, she looked away and a look of pure stubbornness took over. "You've got somebody else to keep your company now Sundance," she told him. "Later losers," she added before turning and walking away, walking swiftly too make up the distance between her and the other girls.

"Maya no," Farkle called out, but she only lifted her hand in a bit of a wave.

"I don't like this," RIley said, panic in her tone. "No no no. This isn't good. What are we going to do?"

Lucas though, had had enough. Enough of watching Maya misbehave. Enough of everyone around him just shrugging and saying that this was who she was. It wasn't. This person sauntering away was not the Maya Hart he had come to care about, and he was damned if he was going to let her walk away and completely shred apart that Maya he had come to know. His emotions boiled up, a long gone but still oddly familiar feeling, and while he knew that he should restrain it, a part of him decided that perhaps this was exactly what was needed. And, if he were a bit more honest, he would admit that his emotions took control of his actions for a bit.

"Maya!" Lucas shouted, his tone harsh and angry.

She froze, they all froze save Zay who simply stood there, shaking his head. Had they all grown up with Lucas as he had, none of them would find this at all shocking. Lucas had reached his breaking point, a cross between worrying for his friend and being entirely too frustrated with the way she had been acting recently.

Maya turned, a shocked expression on her face at the pure authority and anger in his voice."Here, now," he demanded, pointing to the spot in front of him. Maya's gaze shifted from where he was pointing to where he was, as if she was considering her options. Lucas didn't speak further, simply lifted a brow at her before looking pointedly at where he wanted her. She got the message, and, with a last glance back to where the other hooligans were, she slowly, hesitantly walked back, her steps faltering a bit as she neared him.

She stood there a few feet away from him, eyes wide as she waited for him to make a move.

"I don't understand what is going on here Maya," Lucas declared, his tone furious, "but this, this right here, your behaviour this entire week, it ends now."

"Lucas, you don't have to be so mean," Riley began.

Lucas ignored her though, his eyes boring into Maya's. "Skipping school, insulting your mother, drawing graffiti, and now this? What were you going to do with them?"

Maya swallowed nervously, glancing to the others around them as if seeking help. Riley made to move, but Farkle grabbed her hand, whispering, "She needs this Riley."

"It's none of your business," Maya said, trying and failing to interject surety into her tone.

"It is my business when you're trying to destroy yourself," he grated out. "This isn't you, it never was and it never will be."

"You don't know that," she answered. "This is who I am."

"Who decides that, huh?" he asked, with less emotion. "Who decides that Maya Hart is a trouble causing brat who's gunning for juvie? That's not the Maya I know, and I really would like her back."

"She wasn't real," Maya answered, her tone shaky. "She never existed. This is who I am. It doesn't matter what you want, so stop pretending you care, you stupid, stupid, cowboy."

Lucas's eyes narrowed. "Oh, so now you're insulting me?"

"I'm just telling the truth," she snapped, tipping her head a bit so she could get closer to his face. "You're stupid and I'm not wasting anytime on you anymore."

With those venomous words, Maya backed away and made to leave, only to be stopped short when Lucas' hands reached out to grab her and turn her back to him. Maya looked up, prepared to unleash a new wave of insults onto him only to freeze at the pure fury she saw in his gaze. This was not good, she realised as she swallowed nervously. If she had thought him intimidated when he had first called her over, he was downright terrifying right now.

"What do you want from me?" she asked, shakily. "Just let me be."

"What I want right about Maya is for us to be in Texas," he said, his accent pronounced now due to his emotions. "This attitude of yours would soon be fixed." His eyes glinted down at her in a way that had her swallowing and looking away. His comment was met by mildly perplexed looks from all their friends save Zay, whose eyebrow just rose slightly, but Maya understood him perfectly well. She was, after all, the only one who knew that the consequences of Lucas' actions back in Texas had gone way past simple expulsion from school. Her cheeks flushed dark and nervously she tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"Nothing to say now?" he asked, testing her, and quickly she shook her head. "Now I don't know why you're pretending to be this way," he told her sternly. "The Maya I know is a sassy, sarcastic girl who's also very kind and unselfish. She cares about herself, her friends and her family and while she does the wrong thing ever so often, it's not out of maliciousness, it's because she's still growing up, and hey makes mistakes like everyone else. She doesn't go out of her way to hurt people, especially those close to her."

Maya looked away as her face crumpled, and suddenly she appeared to be on the verge of tears. "I don't know who I am. Not anymore."

Lucas' gaze softened at her words, and gently he lifted her chin so their eyes could meet. "If you feel lost, Maya, you say something. You do not act out like this."

"Okay," she answered softly, simply.

"Good," he said. "Now I hear you've been a downright brat to your mama, and we're going to fix that. You are going home now and you are going to be cordial with her. Are we clear Maya Penelope?"

"Yessir," she answered, and for once Lucas knew she was not jesting at him in the way he did when he called her "ma'am".

"Good girl," he said, releasing her. "We're here for you. I'm here for you. Right guys?"

"Of course," Farkle agreed.

"That's right Peaches," Riley added. "Come back."

"Come back to what?" she asked, a tear slipping loose. "You said that I'm not me Riley. You said that I've changed. So I changed back. I changed back into Maya and that's still not me? I don't know where I'm supposed to fit in anymore. I don't know who I am. Who am I?" she finished as the tears fell faster.

Lucas' arms reached out again, and this time, she found herself being pulled into a hug. She buried her head into his shirt, even as a part of her marvelled at how he could transition so quickly from strict and unyielding to holding her tenderly.

"You are Maya Hart, a beautiful soul who is very much loved," he said softly, his voice rumbling in his chest.

She looked up at him, searching his eyes for a long moment before nodding with a sniff.

"I messed everything up, didn't I?" she whispered, her eyes wide. "I've ruined everything."

"You haven't done anything that can't be fixed. Right guys? We can fix this."

"Together," Riley confirmed, coming up to put a hand on her back.

"Yeah Maya, you're not in this on your own."

"I should be," she whispered.

"You shouldn't," Lucas rebutted, and she looked up at him again. "You're not alone in this Maya Hart. We've got you. I've got you."

* * *

"Lukey!"

The teenager locked up from his textbook at the call of his name. "Coming mama," he hollered back, closing the book. He padded from his room towards the main living area. "Yes mama?" he asked as he turned the corner. "You need me?"

"Oh not me dear," she responded. "You've got company."

"Oh?" Lucas' eyebrows lifted in surprise; his expression changing to shock when he looked past his mother to see Maya standing there, hands in her pocket as she screwed her lips as she looked up at him hesitantly. "Maya," he greeted her, sure that his surprise was reflected in his voice.

"Bad time?" she asked.

"No, not at all," he said quickly, sharing a quick glance with his mother.

He had no secrets with his mother, and she knew exactly what had been going on over the past few weeks with Maya. He could see the way she was looking at Maya with both fondness and a hint of sympathy. His mother had liked her ever since their disaster of a muffin school project and she always asked after her.

"Why don't you two talk in your room Lucas?" she offered, reaching out to squeeze Maya's shoulder comfortingly before she stepped away. "You'll have lunch with us Maya," she added as she walked away.

"Thank you Mrs. Friar," Maya responded, and Lucas felt a hint of humour as how easy she accepted it. Undoubtedly she had learnt her lesson after her last time here; she would not escape the household without a full belly.

"This way Maya," he said, a bit unnecessarily as he gestured toward the doorway he had only recently come through. "I'll get us some drinks."

Once again Maya didn't protest. She just gave him a small nod and shuffled past him.

"I thought you said she was grounded?" His mother asked, and Lucas leaned over to kiss her cheek because she already had a tray set up for him to take.

"She's supposed to be," he responded.

"She looks sad," his mother said then, "confused even. Be kind with her Lukey; you've been there."

"I will mama," he promised, taking the tray from her. "Thank you."

"You're welcome sweet pea."

Maya had helpfully left his bedroom door open for him, and he offered her a small smile of thanks as he set the tray down on his table. She was sitting cross-legged near the edge of his bed, her fingers idly crinkling the end of her tee-shirt. Lucas spun his desk chair around so he could straddle it before seating, folding his arms across the top of it. They were both silent for a bit, occasionally making eye contact whenever Maya felt brave enough to raise her gaze.

Finally, Lucas inquired, "I thought you were on lock down?"

"I am," Maya responded. "But Shawn and mom agreed that this is important, and well I wasn't sure you would take my call."

"Of course I would have," he reassured her. "I would never ignore you."

Maya shrugged. "I mean with how I was grounded and all, you would think I was breaking it."

"Oh. Well I would have told you that you weren't supposed to be on the phone, but I would have talked to you," he told her softly.

Maya didn't say anything and Lucas, realising that this was a difficult thing for her, took the lead again.

"I've been worried about you," he admitted, and she looked up, startled. "You've hardly spoken to me this past week."

"I thought you were still mad at me," she half-whispered. "I didn't know what to say, how to fix it. I came here to apologise to you."

"Why would I be mad at you?" he asked, surprised.

"You were pretty mad last week," she pointed out nipping the edge of her lip in remembrance. "You scolded me pretty good."

"It got your attention, didn't it?" he half-joked, gratified when a smile briefly tugged at her lips. "I'm sorry about that, by the way. Perhaps I was a bit too harsh with you."

"No, no Lucas, you were right," she said quickly, "it worked didn't it?" she asked rhetorically. "I don't think I would have stopped otherwise."

"I didn't know what else to do," he revealed, his fingers tangling together. "I just knew I couldn't let you walk away."

"I'm sorry," she repeated. "I've made a right mess of things, haven't I?"

"What I don't understand Maya," he began, "is how you could ever believe that you're Riley?"

"I-I stopped being me a long time ago, Lucas," she responded. "I've wanted what Riley has had for so long, and somewhere along the line I decided that I could have a bit more of it if I started to be her, you know? I've been acting like her ever since."

"No you haven't," he retorted, a hint of incredulity in his tone. "Yeah, you're different, maybe more different than I've realised because I haven't known you as long, but you're still you. You're not Riley, you've never been Riley Maya." He paused for a bit, and then said musingly, "I'm glad I know what's caused all this now. But really Maya, you found yourself by turning into a brat?"

"Hey," she protested and Lucas chuckled, heartened to see a hint of annoyance in her eyes. "I've at least been a hoodlum."

"Brat, hoodlum, same difference," he said with a shrug. "Neither of those things are you."

"I'm the bad one."

"Dark does not equal to bad," he told her softly. "And you're not all dark. And neither is Riley all light, and the faster the two of you realise that the better off you both will be. Maya, you are a beautiful blend of...fine, let's keep the metaphor. You're a blend of light and dark, you're twilight. And you know what? Twilight is an absolutely beautiful thing. It's my favourite time of day," he added his tone dropping a bit.

She nipped her lip at that. "I've been horrible to you."

"You've been horrible to yourself," he corrected reaching out to take a hold of one her hands, his thumb gently running over the creamy skin there. "And I want for you to stop. I lost a year of school because of my anger. I lost a lot of freedom as well. I can honestly say that I hated that time in my life so much, and it's why I'm trying so hard here in New York. I'm not the same as I was then. Do I get angry sometimes? Yeah, but I can control it better now. My anger doesn't rule me, it doesn't make me me. I choose who I want to be, and what I wanted was not to be angry all the time."

"Lucas..."

"You're angry Maya, I know you are. I don't know about what, maybe you don't know about what. I didn't know, I don't think I fully understand it even now, but you have to try. Anger makes you act out in the worst possible way, and the consequences of it last long after you stop being angry. And you already have consequences don't you?"

"I have detention for two weeks," she said softly, "I'm grounded for a month. I acted so badly you had to act that way with me and I risked our friendship. I could have lost you, all of you."

"Only if you wanted to," he rebutted. "We're not letting you get away from us Maya. You're our heart."

She chuckled at the pun. "I feel a bit better now," she admitted, looking up at him. "I'm glad you didn't kick me out."

"Never gonna happen," he reassured, reaching open to bump their head together. "You couldn't pay me to stay away."

She looked down. "Lucas?"

"Yeah Maya," he answered, equally as soft.

"I deserve to be happy right? Nice things can happen to me? I don't have to be miserable?"

Lucas' heart broke a little at her words, and he reached out to cup her face forcing it upwards so he could look into her eyes.

"Maya Penelope, I know you've had a difficult life, probably more than I'll ever understand. But listen to me carefully when I say that you deserve happiness. You deserve to be cared for. You deserve love and all the things that are nice in this world. And it is right there for you to take. You only have to want it."

Maya's eyes watered at his words. "But doesn't that make me selfish?"

Lucas had a moment of clarity. "I told you, you and Riley do not have to be opposites all the time. It's okay that things are changing. That you're both changing. You're going to have a dad who's actually there for you in a few weeks Maya. You're in a high school whose Arts department is in absolutely no danger of being cut and you have friends who love you unconditionally now. Friends who don't require you to damage things and yourself to prove that you belong with them. Understand?"

She nodded, the movement causing a few tears to slip free that he gently thumbed away.

"You've been unhappy a while now, haven't you? I'm sorry I didn't notice until it got this bad. I'll pay better attention to you from now on."

"You don't have to," she mumbled, with a sniff.

"No I don't," he agreed, "but it is because I love you that I am going to."

"I'm a lotta work," she warned him.

"We both are," he told her with a small grin causing her to laugh.

"Thanks Lucas."

"You're welcome Maya," he told her, before standing and offering her his hand. "Mama's probably got lunch finished by now."

"Okay," she agreed. "I'm free for the day. So if you want we can do something after?"

"I'll love to Ms. Hart," he told her before holding the door open for her.

Things were not a hundred percent better yet for Maya, but he knew that, with time, things would be as they should. And then, they would get back to talking about that decision of theirs that had yet to be finalised.


End file.
